I realise that i’ve used Amazon a lot in the last four months (tax dodging b**tards… but cheap nappies!), and Ebay, and Gumtree, oh and Freecycle – basically any route to getting slightly cheaper than extortionately priced baby things – but I’m a bit worried I’ve now lost my entire online identity. My spam mail used to be a healthy mix of penis enlargement, big prize wins, cheap flights and bank queries but now I get Pampers, Boots parenting club and, randomly, adverts for family activities in New York Harbor?! Not that I don’t, mostly, enjoy being a mum but I’d rather not be completely defined by it. So, next time the baby is asleep I’m getting straight online to order some punk rock, car wheel trim and glow sticks to rebalance my profile.