The husband and the insufferable ball-breaker

My husband lovingly asked me the other day “darling, I love you, but when did you turn into such an insufferable ball-breaker?” and I admit, I totally have. It’s mainly to do with tidiness – I felt it coming on whilst I was pregnant, I think that was the first time I noticed how messy my husband is. We went on holiday when I was 7 months pregnant – we’d get to a hotel room and I’d turn my back for a second and the room would look like the bags had exploded!
He just sheds everywhere, it’s like he walks through the door and things just drop off him, making a mess. His evening route through the house is as follows: front door – shoes kicked off and left wherever they land, kitchen – contents of pockets including half screwed up receipts, keys, wallet, a few coins and about 3 half finished packs of chewing gum, emptied onto the kitchen counter. Glass of squash made and half drunk (by bed time this will be joined by 5 other half drunk glasses of squash left in various locations around the place). Hallway coat room – suit jacket possibly hung up, possibly draped over the Hoover, bedroom – suit trousers on the bed, socks and belt on the floor. Tshirt pulled from the bottom or middle of the pile (not the top, never the top), rest of tshirts that fell out whilst chosen tshirt was being extracted just shoved back into the wardrobe. Bottoms the same. Bathroom – shirt on the laundry basket (not in). Back to kitchen – yoghurt opened, lid licked and left on the counter…it continues all night. Then we go to bed (with a fresh glass of squash).
Now I love my husband more than anything, he’s my best friend – but seriously, he’s about as tidy as a teenager! And I should know, I used to be just as bad, in his grooms speech he even mentioned the “floordrobe” (my old penchant for leaving my clothes all over the floor). My bedroom as a teenager was horrendous, I used to have spaces on the floor that I used as stepping stones to the bed – my mum just stopped even asking me to tidy it in the end, it was terrible. Now I can’t go to bed without wiping the worktops and arranging the bathroom curtains just so. What the hell has happened to me?
During the “insufferable ball-breaker” conversation, my point was that I don’t want him to come home and ask me the question “what have you been doing all day?” Meaning “less lunchy lunchy more cleany cleany”, so to avoid that, I started cleaning and tidying as soon as he left (starting with the bathroom chaos – I think he must get out of the shower soaking wet and skip round the room, picking up towels randomly and splashing everything in sight).
He ended up hitting the nail on the head. He said it’s because keeping the house is now my job (albeit temporarily) and I’m pretty wholehearted when it comes to work, so I put all my energy into my new job and make sure I do it well. Which, he said, I am. He also said that he pitied my colleagues. I chose to ignore the last part.

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