Lose 20lbs / Get naturally beautiful


ARGH! Why did I click on it? Why do we always click on these links / read the articles? We’re so desperate for a quick fix for something that we actually already know exactly how to do we just can’t be bothered doing it.

I mean, that’s the truth isn’t it? Really, truly, deep down the truth is that I didn’t go for a run today because I was too lazy to. I freely admit it! It wasn’t because the postman was running late or I needed to go to the shop to get carrots or because the moon was in Capricorn, it was because I couldn’t be arsed.

I don’t drink 2 litres of water every day because (I’m ashamed to admit this) I can’t be bothered being out whilst desperate for the loo – it’s too annoying. I have to find a suitable loo, manoeuvre myself in with the pram or go 1 handed holding the baby, then, who’s minding my bag? Excuses, excuses.

Now, I’m pretty good diet-wise, having had boys at school trying to find new and inventive ways of telling me I was fat every day, made me learn how to how to lose weight and not get fat again. I took my Tree Trunks to the library and researched it. I learned that processed food and sugar was bad, lean meat and vegetables were good. So were exercise and water (but such was my stupidity that I chose to replace these last 2 with smoking).
So, as painful as it was to get called Great Big Washing Machine every time I donned a lab coat in science, actually, learning how to eat properly early has helped me avoid fad diets my whole adult life*. I learned there’s no point trying quick fixes to lose weight for good, you can’t just “go on a diet” lose some weight and go back to “normal” you need to change your normal. Reverse the ratio from 90:10 normal:diet.

I may have lost the baby weight but I still have a way to go in not scaring small children when I’ve not troweled a fake face on top of my crumbling natural one. This morning I followed a link about “finding your natural beauty”. You’ll never guess what it said: genes are important but if you don’t have those (nope) there’s other things you can do: get a full night’s sleep, drink loads of water, eat vegetables & oily fish, cut out caffeine.
My first instinct was to throw my damn phone at the wall going “I thought you were going to tell me about a miracle cream, you vile harridan!” but then I wondered, am I just being lazy/finding excuses just like we find excuses for why we can’t lose weight?

Am I doing the same thing with my health? Well let’s assess, my kidneys often hurt due to my seriously unhealthy lack of water, I NEVER take my makeup off before bed, I drink about eleven thousand coffees a day, I get 4-5 hours sleep. Thing is, all this is entirely within my power to change – my baby sleeps 7pm – 5am, yet I don’t go to bed til 11 or 12! Doesn’t take a bloody life guru to tell me to switch off The Great British Menu and go to bed.

So no more wondering why I look like a teenage Uncle Fester when I do take my make up off. I’m going to change it. 2 litres of water every day, 8 hours sleep a night, and make up off every night for a week and no coffee. Starting…tomorrow. Only kidding, starting now.

Lots of love,

Tree Trunks, Big Big Washing Machine, The Beast.

* OK so I still tried every fad diet that came out until I was about 27 when I finally realised that nothing could beat a healthy attitude to food.